Thanks, my ex-wife is autistic but we didn't know until 8 years into the relationship when I found inspiration here on Medium and investigated further - she was officially diagnosed last year. Undiagnosed autism caused a lot of issues in the relationship, it's not her fault but the damage was done unfortunately. To be fair I brought my own issues into it (unresolved childhood traumas) that I've been able to resolve in the last few years with a lot of hard work.

But I might be way off base with your ex, just throwing the idea out there based on my own experience.