Thanks for sharing, I'm very similar, I seem to fluctuate between anxious partners and emotionally unavailable partners. I had therapy a few years ago and just started again recently, it's really helping me to understand why I make the choices I make.

I've definitely had a disordered attachment style in the past (from a traumatic childhood), but lately (since starting dating again), I'm finding myself to be a lot calmer and self-aware than before, which is a relief tbh!

Good luck on your journey! Peace be with you :)