Respect to you and your husband for making polyamory work. Tbh it's not something I'm mentally equipped for, I sometimes even get jealous about my girlfriend's past sexual activity (which is obviously none of my damn business). My insecurity is something I'm in therapy for.

Another reason I'm not equipped for polyamory is that I sometimes get exhausted putting the time and effort into a monogamous relationship, so adding more people into the relationship would not be a good idea for me. I like a lot of alone time for hobbies to recharge and be mentally well.

I have a son too (joint-custody), so your points about poly relationships with children are pretty insightful. How do people with children even have time and energy for multiple relationships? It boggles my mind tbh. It's hard enough keeping a monogamous relationship going strong, I say that from experience as a divorcee!

Part of me feels that living in a tribe and sharing everything (including sex) is pretty natural, and two-parent/partner monogamy is somewhat unnatural, each of us locked inside our brick boxes every day, cut off from each other. But the pressures of our current society (I'm in the UK) and my own upbringing and trauma make polyamory a remote possibility for me.

But honestly, if I'm able to have an intimate and connected relationship with my girlfriend, I'm happy.