My thirties have been pretty rough too, drug addiction, depression and a few nervous breakdowns all part of it. I turn 40 this year and happy to say I’m turning my life around — I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs anymore, and I’m much happier in general. I had 6 months of therapy last year and it’s completely changed my life — it was hard but worth it. I had a lot of childhood traumas from abuse and emotional neglect from childhood that I was carrying around like a heavy sack of woe, therapy helped me come to terms with all that. So I recommend some sustained therapy to help you become a better version of yourself.