Great article, your description of the energies you felt in your moments of extreme anguish remind me of accounts where people under extreme stress experience a ‘presence’ that guides them or helps them. One famous account of this happening is the ill-fated Imperial Transantarctic Expedition by Ernest Shackleton, Frank Worsley, and Tom Crean in 1916 where they describe a fourth ‘person’ or presence with them in their extremely stressful and dangerous journey. This article explains more:
It might not be the same thing as you experienced but I thought you might be interested to read more about it.