Good points, thank you for listing these out. It took me a long time to even admit I had trauma from childhood. I often gaslighted myself by saying 'It wasn't that bad...'. Gaslighting from parents was one of many issues in my childhood.

Medium has been useful to help me realise that there are many people with similar childhood traumas, some are much worse, so I practice gratitude for the positive things I had and work on accepting the negative. Sometimes it feels like drowning tbh. But I'm getting better.

One of the most disturbing realisations I had recently was that there is so much trauma still playing out in my subconscious that I am completely unaware of - I only know about it when I suddenly feel something unpleasant out of nowhere or react disproportionately over something. I wish I was more stable emotionally, it would make life easier!