Currently in stage 2 after ending the last dysfunctional, codependent relationship I'll ever be in. It's either singledom or a healthy relationship from here on out. The familiar desperation to fill this emotional hole inside is still there, but I'm just sitting with it whenever it comes up, feeling the pain for once.

Neurofeedback has given me a greater sense of calm and self-regulation, which has led to more confidence and peace. But it's also led to a general feeling of being pissed of with a world that has consistently crossed my boundaries since I was a child. I walk with an adolescent swagger, a feeling that no fucker is going to mess with me today, and part of me hopes they try. I know this will pass, it feels somewhat liberating but I'm mindful that I don't want to cause pain to a random person that fucks with me, and I certainly don't want to traumatise myself by being a bit too gung-ho on asserting myself and staking my right to exist and take up my rightful space in the world. People can move out of my way from now on, or they will come into contact with me. I don't accept ill-treatment anymore. I feel solid as a rock, and it feels great.